well the crisis was majorly diverted 2day thank god!!
so i can stop stressing n worrying!
do you ever think 2 urself why still have felling 4 some1 u wish u didnt that u could leave the past in the past n make a new future for youself!? i wish i could but i dunno its like its still holding me back n i wish the hurt n pain would go away like its not something `that happened just yesterday like i have had time 2 heal but i dunno just cant!!
hope every1 is well xoxo
Best buds till the end!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
what am i doing?
As i sit here and think 2 myself melinda what the fuck are you doing to urself!!
as if making 1 mistake wasnt enough i have 2 go and make a even bigger 1! God i have turned into something and someone i have never wanted to be or try be, i have ppl worrying about me and its not right! wat am i doing? i need 2 be pushed back into line so badley.
All i wont is something i cant have and i no i dnt want it bak but i do so what do i do go serching for someone new the worst thing i could have ever done! for this moment foward im not looking at all i will let it come 2 me!
man i am 1 fucked up individual!!! making all the wrong decisions when i no they are wrong yet i do them why why why!!!
On the upside of all this downness we had these ppl come in2 work important ppl 2 do with child care and they said i was a very compedent cofident worker and they thought i was fully qualified and that it was the first time in many many years they have walked into such a carm babies from and that work should be pleased with wat i am doin there because the room is terrific!
take care all!xxx
as if making 1 mistake wasnt enough i have 2 go and make a even bigger 1! God i have turned into something and someone i have never wanted to be or try be, i have ppl worrying about me and its not right! wat am i doing? i need 2 be pushed back into line so badley.
All i wont is something i cant have and i no i dnt want it bak but i do so what do i do go serching for someone new the worst thing i could have ever done! for this moment foward im not looking at all i will let it come 2 me!
man i am 1 fucked up individual!!! making all the wrong decisions when i no they are wrong yet i do them why why why!!!
On the upside of all this downness we had these ppl come in2 work important ppl 2 do with child care and they said i was a very compedent cofident worker and they thought i was fully qualified and that it was the first time in many many years they have walked into such a carm babies from and that work should be pleased with wat i am doin there because the room is terrific!
take care all!xxx
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
sunny side up!
I finally got my new car yay! its an awesome lil car n awesome on petrol lovin it i picked it up n it had 9 k's on it lol! never had that b4!
life has finally taken a turn in the right direction my life is sunny side up! i have a new car, my freind from bball is trying 2 set me up with 1 of the guys on the team lol his preaty good looking but im not all that stressed about it she wanted 2 do it so meh what have i got 2 loose! single life has been treating me well i love the free time i have yer it gets lonley sometimes but meh.
i was watching one tree hill n found this quote i think its so true,
Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.
just belive that n e thing in life is possible as long as u try and make is possible no dream is to extream as long as you try and make it come true.
life has finally taken a turn in the right direction my life is sunny side up! i have a new car, my freind from bball is trying 2 set me up with 1 of the guys on the team lol his preaty good looking but im not all that stressed about it she wanted 2 do it so meh what have i got 2 loose! single life has been treating me well i love the free time i have yer it gets lonley sometimes but meh.
i was watching one tree hill n found this quote i think its so true,
Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.
just belive that n e thing in life is possible as long as u try and make is possible no dream is to extream as long as you try and make it come true.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
tell me how im supposed to breath with no air
Life can send you on some twisted paths leading to your happely ever after or to you world war 3!
im a strong beliver that things happen for a reason, and that if a door closes you learn from you experices and that you must move foward in order to accomplish and no why it is that door closed! when one door closes another one opens weather or not that is the right one for you or not is not to be known only time will tell and show you if it really was the right door to open!
Moving foward to soon is going to lead you to things that prehaps you dont wish to do but yet waiting can also give the impression that " thats it".
Life is full of many obsitcals that surround as and are there to challange us and make us grow into a bigger and better person than what we used to be, in my eye me moving foward is to leave the past behind leave the happy memories and the sad one will never appear because in your eyes all you can see is the happy things that life brings to you. I am fully ready to move on now and start that new chapter with my new car and a new refrshed happier me one that is going to take risks because a risk is their to challange you and show you wat life is really all about.
Moving foward as just being me is better than me+1 because as many say you born just you and your family people come and go but your family will always be there for you no matter wat so the people that come and go you love and imbrase them for when they are around but when they are gone you need to let them go.
My grandpa coming and telling me in my dreams that i need to let him go cause he couldnt go until i was fully ready 2 accept that he was gone but when i did i knew that he was gone but yet all the happy memories will never die!
this was one blog that will prob not make sence to many but it is stuff i need to say and get out and re assure myself that i am doing wats right for me because i no myself not because someone else is telling me!!
im a strong beliver that things happen for a reason, and that if a door closes you learn from you experices and that you must move foward in order to accomplish and no why it is that door closed! when one door closes another one opens weather or not that is the right one for you or not is not to be known only time will tell and show you if it really was the right door to open!
Moving foward to soon is going to lead you to things that prehaps you dont wish to do but yet waiting can also give the impression that " thats it".
Life is full of many obsitcals that surround as and are there to challange us and make us grow into a bigger and better person than what we used to be, in my eye me moving foward is to leave the past behind leave the happy memories and the sad one will never appear because in your eyes all you can see is the happy things that life brings to you. I am fully ready to move on now and start that new chapter with my new car and a new refrshed happier me one that is going to take risks because a risk is their to challange you and show you wat life is really all about.
Moving foward as just being me is better than me+1 because as many say you born just you and your family people come and go but your family will always be there for you no matter wat so the people that come and go you love and imbrase them for when they are around but when they are gone you need to let them go.
My grandpa coming and telling me in my dreams that i need to let him go cause he couldnt go until i was fully ready 2 accept that he was gone but when i did i knew that he was gone but yet all the happy memories will never die!
this was one blog that will prob not make sence to many but it is stuff i need to say and get out and re assure myself that i am doing wats right for me because i no myself not because someone else is telling me!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
mm well...
Over the past week i have had some time to so some serious me time time to just sit back relax and think my little brain out. Life over the past month has had its rocky moments and its heart break but as i start to see a the light at the end of the tunnel, it bring a sign of relief.
Im not going to say that i am happy with some decisions that have happened cause im not but yet im over people telling me that there is plenty more fish in the sea, sometimes you want just 1 fish n u cant have it!!! it is driving me insane! i begin then to wonder going out last weekend was awesome with the chicks from work i hooked up with the 3 people i only remember 2 but apperently there was a 3rd some how yet every time i hooked up wtih one of em felt kinda like i was cheating i have no idea why tho cause im not but who no's, then this guy got my number all well n good msged a pew time called a few time n i was like meh not all that interested but hey who nos! and then during my thinking session decided i would stay single a bit more longer as many would say "play the field" sounds slutty i no but i dunno if im quiet ready to be setteled down again.
so as i start a new chapter in my life one with new hair color and a new me one that acts more mauture acts older than i was and is making something of myself taking a car loan was one of the best things i have had to act like an adult and its done me some good. so as i leave the old me behind the immature irrasponsible stupid blonde heart broken me behind and im picking up the pieces and starting a new better me i think a SMART blonder version!!.
Im not going to say that i am happy with some decisions that have happened cause im not but yet im over people telling me that there is plenty more fish in the sea, sometimes you want just 1 fish n u cant have it!!! it is driving me insane! i begin then to wonder going out last weekend was awesome with the chicks from work i hooked up with the 3 people i only remember 2 but apperently there was a 3rd some how yet every time i hooked up wtih one of em felt kinda like i was cheating i have no idea why tho cause im not but who no's, then this guy got my number all well n good msged a pew time called a few time n i was like meh not all that interested but hey who nos! and then during my thinking session decided i would stay single a bit more longer as many would say "play the field" sounds slutty i no but i dunno if im quiet ready to be setteled down again.
so as i start a new chapter in my life one with new hair color and a new me one that acts more mauture acts older than i was and is making something of myself taking a car loan was one of the best things i have had to act like an adult and its done me some good. so as i leave the old me behind the immature irrasponsible stupid blonde heart broken me behind and im picking up the pieces and starting a new better me i think a SMART blonder version!!.
Friday, June 20, 2008
new car
well this is my new car!
im so excited get it in a couple weeks so ill b zoomin round it in really soon n not the old bomb, and i got a really good price on it so yeah all excited fresh start!
i was going to get the orange but once i looked at green again it was like buy me so i did lol n im going to call it MINI SHREK!
take care all hope alls well xx
Saturday, June 14, 2008
mmmm
so once again im back to the single life!
i never noticed how lonley it fells 2 be single
i hope that one day the tears will stop n the hurt will stop and i will come 2 realise that shit happens and you just have to move on.
i went to church for the first time today in a year or so and i needed to go i learnt that doors close and you learn from your experences and the maybe in time it will happen again but if it doesnt then you just take it as time well spent then and time now to move on.
anyways on to a lighter brighter topic now, i got a good price on my new car im so excited now just putting in loan papers 2morrow n hopefully in a couple weeks ill be driving round my new car so im excited!
anyways take care all!xx
i never noticed how lonley it fells 2 be single
i hope that one day the tears will stop n the hurt will stop and i will come 2 realise that shit happens and you just have to move on.
i went to church for the first time today in a year or so and i needed to go i learnt that doors close and you learn from your experences and the maybe in time it will happen again but if it doesnt then you just take it as time well spent then and time now to move on.
anyways on to a lighter brighter topic now, i got a good price on my new car im so excited now just putting in loan papers 2morrow n hopefully in a couple weeks ill be driving round my new car so im excited!
anyways take care all!xx
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